“Show, Don’t Tell: Beyond the Books”
A common technique that writers apply to their work is the concept of “show, don’t tell.” The idea is to convey subject matter by appealing to a reader’s senses, and allow them to experience the action, dialogue, and setting of a story through observation, rather than being told about it by way of exhaustive summarization. I see no reason why “show, don’t tell” should be limited to the world of writing since there are plenty of everyday purposes it can apply to. Showing can mean different things depending on the situation, and while some degree of telling is almost always necessary, there’s something to be said for creating balance between the two.
Leadership roles: showing your audience what you want them to do may take longer, but it will be more impactful.
The principles of “show, don’t tell” go hand-in-hand with the qualities we expect from people in leadership positions. Respectable leaders aren’t internally focused. They understand that vigilance, dedication, knowledge, and integrity are the keys to real accomplishment. These qualities can’t be faked. If they’re lacking, they can’t be explained away. When leaders emulate the words they speak, it holds them more accountable, encourages spontaneity, and allows their messages to flow naturally. The more someone claims how great of a leader they are, the less inclined I am to listen to them. Leadership is demonstrated through a person’s actions, and it draws people in for all the right reasons.
Parenting: an essential source of insight into how well we’re living by our own words.
Don’t eat that, it has too much sugar…
You’ve had enough screen time. Put down the device…
Go to bed. Your body needs sleep…
I realize that it’s winter, but you still need to get outside…
Sound familiar? To be clear, this is all stuff that other people tell me about. None of these issues ever come up in my house. Especially not these next ones:
Stop complaining and be thankful for the things you have…
Don’t blame other people when you’re the one who messed up…
Be patient. Things take time…
Life isn’t always fair. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t solve anything…
Parenting isn’t easy. It’s also filled with irony. Our words are important, but “show, don’t tell” reminds us that our actions and attitude are even more relevant since our children model our behaviors and, at times, are picking up on more than we might think.
Over-stating the obvious: “Take it easy, Champ. Why don’t you stop talking for awhile?” (Anchorman)
As an optometrist, I’ve been working in clinic for over fifteen years, which has given me a certain comfort level for handling a variety of day-to-day challenges with patient care. That isn’t to imply that I think my job is easy, or that I don’t experience my share of difficulties. One of my biggest frustrations is when I’m trying to convey information to patients and my words aren’t coming out the way I want them to. It’s like I become “word clumsy.” When I’m struggling to hit my points, a common mistake I’ll make is to begin piling on the details. Left, right, and center, I reach in all directions. I can also become repetitive with my word choices. Both tendencies are signs of insecurity. One strategy that can help me escape these sinkholes is to pay attention to my body language. I’ve found that if I make eye contact with the person I’m speaking to and focus on being present with them, then I’ll deliver whatever I’m saying more effectively. The benefits of “showing” my receptiveness go both ways. By slowing down in the moment, I’m able to do a better job of composing my thoughts, and it allows the person I’m speaking with to sense my commitment to their needs and feel more attended to.
Arguing without listening: when we over-tell our opinions, it doesn’t make them any stronger.
You strike up a conversation with a friend. Things start out civilized, but because the two of you share conflicting viewpoints, it soon begins to turn. One undercutting comment leads into another, and before you know it (ding, ding!), the gloves are off! Every point you make, they dismiss. Every defense they employ, you counter. For most of us, the typical outcome of heated discussions is that we’re left with more questions than answers. Why don’t they value my opinion? Why can’t they understand my perspective? Here’s a fact, incredible but true: the person you just got done arguing with is wondering the exact same thing about you. Relativity, my friends. When we resort to shouting at our audience, or trying to crush them with ALL CAPS in our tweets, texts, and Facebook posts, it’s a pretty good sign that we’re over-telling our points. Ever notice how the louder we raise our voice to get our opinion across, the more it seems like we’re trying to convince ourselves that we’re right? It might feel good to over-tell our perspectives, but unless both you and the person you’re speaking with are willing to show respect by listening to each other, then there’s no point in having the conversation. It isn’t easy to try to see the world through the eyes of another person (especially when they have no intention of returning the favor), but it’s also the only way to understand them.
The standards we expect from other people are sometimes the same ones we struggle to live up to ourselves. Finding fault is one thing, but fixing it is another. “Show, don’t tell” is really just another way of saying to lead by example. When we apply the concept to our lives, everyone benefits.
I hope this post finds all of you well. Stay healthy and thanks for reading!
- Todd
Work Cited disclosure:
(Anchorman) Dir. Adam McKay. Apatow Productions, 2004.
If you choose to comment, you’ll be directed to a new page where you’ll leave your name and then click “Comment as Guest.”
