“A Youth Sports Pressure Point: To Push, or Not to Push”
There are a number of reasons why parents encourage their kids to participate in youth sports. Physical fitness. Socialization. Confidence building. These are all critical elements to physical and mental health wellbeing. By having kids take part in youth sports they’re also introduced to a number of important life skills. Discipline. Communication. Teamwork. As parents we’re only going to have our children under our care for so long, and we strive to give them every chance we can to excel. The last thing most of us want is to look back and feel like they missed out on opportunities to grow because we were standing in their way. When youth sports are done right, kids are able to connect with family members and friends, and experience the support of the communities they live in. The result is a winning scenario where everyone benefits.
The positive attributes of youth sports are easy to recognize. Unfortunately, there are also some negatives.
For those of us who’ve experienced the positive impact of youth sports, we can appreciate how the friendships, fun, and life lessons learned on the courts and fields of play helped influence us during the formative years of our childhood, adolescence, and beyond. For as true as I believe those words to be, it’s also important to acknowledge that there are growing problems with youth sports in America. No matter how pretty of a picture we try to paint, we cannot ignore certain realities: athlete injuries from sport specialization; burnout due to year-round training; win-at-all-costs coaching mentalities; incorrigible, over-involved parent behaviors; unrealistic expectations of athletic achievement. What’s more is the rising cost of sports participation. Travel expenses. Equipment. Team membership. Facility use. Private coaching. The desire to assist young athletes with reaching their peak performance has placed undue pressure upon their shoulders, and unwittingly deterred many of them from enjoying the very same games we once hoped would bring them so much joy.
Choosing the right fit for young athletes: competitive vs. recreational-focused play.
There’s an interesting trend I’ve noticed in some of the more highly competitive people I know. A good number of them are married to each other. Like birds of a feather, likeminded individuals with similar competitive natures have a way of finding one another. In a room full of people, they’re somehow brought together, as if by magnetism. This raises an interesting question: when highly competitive people become highly competitive parents, will they produce highly competitive offspring? Conventional wisdom says yes, but I think the best answer is more along the lines of…sometimes. Fortunately, a growing number of communities offer options for both competitive and recreational play. Competitive youth sports leagues will usually require some degree of travel (could be near, could be far), and often become available to join once kids have progressed through the earliest years of introductory play. As for recreational youth sports leagues, they’ll involve local teams and, possibly, those from neighboring communities. Practice night commitments, the number of games played per season, enrollment fees, and the level of coaching intensity may vary between both options. Some youth sports leagues allow more vs. less time for other recreational activities. If families aren’t sure which option to register for, they may find it helpful to ask questions to people in their community since the reputations of many leagues tend to precede themselves. A lot also depends on the individual kid. Do they enjoy the sport? How many other activities are they engaged in? How much downtime do they need/want? These questions and others become easier to answer as kids get older, especially once they’re able to play a larger role with their decision making. As parents we often need to make judgment calls on their behalf, however, we should always encourage them to share their perspective regarding how they want to spend their time. After all, it’s their life.
Many parents push their kids to play the same sports as they did. If it turns out their kids aren’t into them, then that’s okay. Stepping back may seem hard, but sometimes it’s necessary.
I’ve always tried to keep an open mind about encouraging our children to try new activities, but the truth is there are certain games/sports I’ve been more proactive about promoting than others. For as shocking as that might be to learn, my reasons for doing so are similar to what I imagine most other parents would admit to. Familiarity. Convenience. Safety. Space in the garage to store their equipment. For the record, I’m only kidding on that last one (kind of…). I’d never deny my kids the opportunity to engage in a sport they wanted to try, nor would I ever force them to sign up for something they clearly weren’t enjoying. There’s no mold that I need them to fit. As parents we often recognize the talent our kids have before they do, and we also know that some sports may take longer for them to catch onto than others. When we sense the potential in our kids, and realize the enjoyment that certain activities would bring if they would just stick with them a little longer, it can be hard to let them walk away. The temptation for parents to live, or relive, vicariously through their kids is real, and doing so can lead to problems. If you get the sense that you might be pushing too hard on a sport, then you probably are. The slope can be slippery, but if intentions are good than the cause is not without hope. At the very least, take a step or two back and revisit things later.
Kids aren’t drawn to sports because of the work that’s required to excel at them. Their interests are simpler. Most of them just want to have fun.
They say to catch a criminal, you have to think like one. Well, I say to understand a kid, you need to think like a kid. What do most kids want from the activities they engage in? In the majority of cases, the answer is simple. Fun. They want to laugh, be silly, and have fun. Teach kids to enjoy sports by emphasizing the fun, and not the work. A classic example that comes to my mind is when I play basketball with my kids. They’d much rather try to beat me at HORSE than practice give-and-go drills from the perimeter. Watch games on TV as a family (preferably with popcorn and ice cream involved). Attend live events (also with popcorn and ice cream). Talk about the athletes you see compete and the paths many of them took to achieve their accomplishments. Tell stories about your own experiences. Do anything you can to inject fun into whatever sport you’re trying to introduce them to. Kids bloom athletically at different points in their lives. The more fun they have, the longer they’ll stay interested. If they can stick with a sport long enough for it to become a passion, then you won’t have to motivate them to keep playing. Getting them to stop practicing and come inside the house will be the next challenge.
Take care and thanks for reading, everyone!
- Todd
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