“The Secret to Getting Something Done: Caring About the Outcome”
I like projects. Big projects. The ones with a lot of moving parts. I enjoy working on projects from the ground up, and strategizing my approach to completing them from a variety of angles. Set a goal. Create a plan. Prepare for every possible scenario within the plan. Execute the plan. This is my personal philosophy for achievement. That doesn’t mean I always accomplish my goal, but if I can keep my approach consistent then I’ll be more likely to notice, and to appreciate progress. Success in anything rarely happens overnight. Sometimes we get lucky, sure; but if we hope to accomplish something worthwhile, then it will usually require a bit of work. Work means time, and because time only moves in one direction, we have to be careful about how we use it. Once it’s gone, we can’t get it back.
If we pursue things that are important to us, then the amount of work it takes to reach them, along with the eventual endpoint, seem less consequential.
School. Athletics. Career. Parenting. Book writing. When I consider some of the bigger projects of my life, I notice an interesting trend: the heaviness of the work I’ve put into them really doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. That isn’t to say things come easy. I know the amount of time and effort I’ve invested into my endeavors. There have been very real moments of struggle. If you’re looking for the truth (which I hope you are), then here it is: the act of pursuing our goals is fulfilling, but as most of us can attest, it can also be exhausting; physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Look at your life and pick your project. We can all relate. The key is to care about the outcome. Win, lose, or draw, that’s what keeps us going.
There’s no “I” in team, but for individuals who are working towards a common goal, the ones who care the least have all the control.
All too often, we observe this unfortunate trend is in the world of sports. The disgruntled superstar who quits on their team; the general manager who mails the season in before it’s even started; the head coach who’s lost the locker room. We watch our heroes compete on the field and in the arena, and because the dedication they commit to their craft resonates so strongly within us, we know what to expect when they’re performing at their highest level. Once their hearts are no longer in it, we can tell. The same concept holds true in the workplace. Anyone ever experience the stress of a toxic coworker? In a previous blog post, “When the Storm Comes: Rethinking Our Viewpoint of Strength,” I mentioned working at Monk’s Bar & Grill when I was in college. One summer, during my third or fourth year there, my boss gave each member of the staff a copy of the book Fish!: A Proven Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results. The book was a great recommendation since success in the food and beverage industry relies so heavily on customer service. There were a number of passages from Fish! that I found relevant to my job at Monk’s and, to this day, remain integral to the work I perform as an optometrist and a writer. One of my favorites is this: “There is always a choice about the way you do your work, even if there is not a choice about the work itself. We can choose the attitude we bring to our work. That choice determines the way we are at work (Lundin et al 15).” This is a great example about the power of mindfulness, and it emphasizes the point that the happiest people aren’t always focused so much on what they’re doing as how they’re doing it.
When I’m trying to get my children to follow directions, the quality and swiftness of their actions tells me a lot. So does their inactions.
Anyone know a secret way to get your kids to keep a clean bedroom? To do their chores without complaining? To quit arguing with each other the first time they’re asked to stop? I realize that going full drill sergeant on them is an option. I’m just not convinced it’s the best option. The key to lasting compliance is getting them to see the value in what they’re being asked to do. In other words: to care about the outcome. How do I get them to care? Is there a way to do it without badgering them with constant reminders? I wish there was a universal answer, because I’d be happy to share it. Raising kids isn’t easy. The path is not all butterflies and rainbows. If our goal is to get kids to care in a lasting way, then I think we need to focus on the rationale behind our directives. I’m no expert at making it happen. There are days when it’s a game of inches, and others when it feels like millimeters. Some battles you win, and some you lose. Keep your cool, and keep working at it. There are no perfect kids or parents.
If it matters to me, it should matter to everyone, right?
We’re around our spouses and significant others so much that it can be easy to forget we have separate lives, let alone different goals. We rely a lot on those who are closest to us, and it can be hurtful to realize that they don’t care about every project the same as we do. Sometimes we need to temper our expectations, though. This helps protect our own sanity, in addition to theirs. We’re only human. We each get overwhelmed by the day-to-day drama in our lives. If we’re stressed out, we don’t think as clearly. When we’re tired, we lose patience and grace with the way we speak to each other. What’s most important is that we have each other’s backs, to forgive one another for being shortsighted, and to be on the same page for the goals that matter most.
Have a great day, everyone! Thank you for reading!
- Todd
Work cited disclosure:
Lundin, Stephen C., Harry Paul, and John Christensen. Fish!: A Proven Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results. New York: Hyperion, 2000.
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